Hope for the Hopeless
by Downtonian
Summary: Following on from 10x09, Arizona has suddenly been given hope that her marriage can be saved. Will she go home and what will happen with Leah? Calzona centric.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, so this is my first Calzona fic, I just couldn't get it out of my head after 10x09, which was amazing in my opinion, although I can't let myself be too happy about it because until Callie finds out about Leah I'll be on edge! So this takes off directly from where 10x09 stopped and will be a multichapter fic if anyone is interested :) I'm currently working on chapter 2 right now :) The title is taken from a great song by A Fine Frenzy which just reminds me of Calzona so much! Gomez - Little pieces just started playing on my ipod so I'm off to dance and think of happier times!  
**

**Enjoy! and let me know what you all think in your reviews :)**

_'_

Chapter 1 -The World Without.

_I would like to know if you'll come home?'_

Arizona watched Callie walk away, the question she had asked going through her head on a repetitive cycle with only one response.

Oh shit..

Arizona didn't know whether to laugh or cry over the fact that Callie even felt she would need time or that she'd need to think about it. Of course she wanted to come home, she wanted nothing more. She had a problem though...and it was currently naked in her hotel room.

She knew she hadn't cheated, well this time at least. Callie was done with her. Or at least she had thought she was but now well apparently she had been wrong but still she thought she had lost Callie. Arizona hadn't thought there was anything else she could do, she had lost her best friend, her leg and her baby, her new start for herself and Callie and then in one stupid moment when she just wanted to let go, let go of the pain and be happy...was that what she thought Lauren could give her? She was an escape, Arizona felt good when she looked at her flirted with her, she didn't look at her like something less, like a woman who lost her leg, herself and who felt like her body was failing her, whose whole life seemed to be full of loss and pain since Tim died, and for a second she let herself forget the woman whose very existence took away that pain, even when sometimes Arizona felt like Callie was causing it, she still lived to see her and Sofia. Lauren looked at her like she was desirable and whole and for one moment Arizona wanted that and she ruined everything.

If Callie wanted her to come home though, could she fix things, save their relationship? She had meant it when she told Callie she couldn't lose anything else...Callie didn't get it, couldn't or wouldn't get it but she just couldn't and then she lost Callie through her own doing, tore apart her beloved family with her stupidity, she'd tried to lie to herself afterwards, after Callie found out and after their fight.

She had believed if Callie would just listen to her she could fix things. She had control again and all she wanted was to talk, to talk to her wife, bear her sorrows and have her listen. Arizona knew she should have tried to talk to Callie before, tell her how unhappy she was, not in their marriage exactly but in her life, she should of suggested couples counselling long before Lauren Boswell ever entered their life, but she was afraid, afraid to be open and afraid to lose Callie. She felt she could fix it with that long overdue conversation and a lot of begging and grovelling but she never even got as far as begging and grovelling...Callie...she didn't want to fix it and she didn't want to hear it.

Arizona had held out hope, hoped Callie would come home; even after Arizona had learnt that Callie had told people she was dead she'd hoped. Hoped Callie was just angry but when she threw her out, she realised she had lost her wife and she couldn't bear it. That's were Leah came in. Leah was a nice girl, a little bit crazy, no that's wrong she's just intense and desperately lonely, which Arizona could understand as that's how she felt without Callie. A little bit crazy and a lot lonely, she laughed, no wonder she argued with Callie almost every chance she got, purposely pushing her buttons just to get a reaction, at least she did until Halloween when she remembered how nice it was to just speak to Callie.

Arizona turned back into her room, wait..what had Callie meant when she said she had done something impulsive today...like Arizona had done with Lauren...had Callie slept with someone else today and realised she still loved her?, Arizona questioned feeling jealousy well up in the pit of her stomach. And if she had who on earth was it, she wondered. She knew she had no right to be jealous but she had never stopped loving Callie and the thought of her with someone else destroyed her, Callie had always brought out a jealousy in Arizona she hadn't realised she was capable of. She didn't know if that was good or bad.

Arizona realised she had made it to her bed without noticing, so deep in thought about how much she had screwed everything up and she remembered how the one thing which could destroy this peace offering, this branch of hope that her marriage could be saved, was standing in the corner.

Arizona's chest ached with pity and regret for Leah, she truly liked the girl. She considered her a friend and a dear one as she had helped her through the pain she had been feeling recently. She honestly had no idea what she would have done, how she would have survived without her.

No.

Arizona tamped it down. It was not the time to pity Leah or care for Leah. She had to turn it off. If she showed the tiniest bit of emotion, kindness, pity or regret when ending this, because she must end this, then Leah would hang on. She would hope and follow Arizona around like a puppy, making Arizona's life even more of a mess than it already was.

Purposely not looking towards Leah, Arizona spoke as clearly, as concisely and as coldly as she was capable of,

_"You should get dressed now, and leave"._

If Leah had to hate her to move on then Arizona would make sure she would. Arizona contemplated adding in something along the lines of it's been fun but no that would be unnecessary and cruel. Well crueler she thought. She avoided looking towards Leah as she gathered her things, she couldn't help but hear Leah's sniffling though, she was crying.

Arizona felt awful but she closed her eyes and continued to pretend she was alone until she heard her hotel room's door close.

"God I'm a bitch..."

Leah had known what she was getting into when they had started this, Arizona comforted herself, she was a grown adult she would get over it. She would have to because Arizona had a shot at fixing her marriage and family and she wasn't going to mess things up any further. What was she to do about Leah though, should she tell Callie, after all they were separated; Arizona had been expecting divorce papers any day now.

She couldn't help but wonder would Callie have told her about Mark after Africa if it hadn't been for her pregnancy and did it really make a difference after all.

She would wait and see how Leah behaved, as far as she knew no 'one had known of the casual relationship, if you could even call it that, they had begun so if Leah kept quiet Arizona didn't see any reason to tell Callie.

It would only hurt her she reasoned; after all Arizona was one hundred percent sure she did not want to know if Callie had been with anyone while they were separated. She'd already caused Callie enough pain. She didn't want to cause her anymore, she just wanted to fix it now.

Arizona wanted to heal the wounds and fix them and be happy. But they had to do it right, no more putting plasters over massively bleeding wounds and hoping they would hold, no more not talking, even if Callie thought she was starting a fight she would say how she felt and she wanted Callie to do the same.

Complete honesty.

Arizona felt a twinge at her conscious, well honesty about everything but from Leah if it could be avoided, Arizona knew she would tell Callie immediately if she thought it was going to get out, she wouldn't allow Callie to be hurt or humiliated by her actions at Grey-Sloan again.

Arizona stood up off the bed and looked around, would it be too soon to pack up and go home now. Would Callie be surprised or angry?

She had a niggling fear that Callie might change her mind tomorrow, so even though she knew she shouldn't she began to pack.

Fifteen minutes later she had her bags packed and in her car, was checked out of her hotel and driving home. To Callie and Sofia, to her family, Arizona felt her face break into a true smile for the first time in a long time. Now hopefully Callie wouldn't be too surprised to see her.

**Let me know what you think! and feel free to throw in any predictions for next weeks greys! **


	2. They Can't If You Don't Let Them

**Hi! sorry for the multiple changes to this chapter! still getting used to uploading it :D Thanks to everyone for the reviews! really appreciate them and hope you guys are enjoying! Not a lot happens in this chapter, but it's gonna get real interesting in chapter 3 :D Also anyone see the pictures of Patrick Dempsey and Sara Ramirez in episode 12, she was wearing the wedding ring! there is hope!**

Chapter 2 – They can't if you don't let them

Arizona had been standing outside for what was going on...she glanced at her watch, yeah twenty minutes. She had three suitcases standing around her and more stuff in her car. Callie hadn't been kidding when she had said she would have an intern send her things to her, she had sent her all of her possessions. Arizona couldn't help but wonder if there was anything left in their apartment belonging to her.

"Come on...open the damn door Arizona..."

She had been trying to convince herself to enter the apartment rather than stare at its door this whole time.

It had started when she had first arrived outside and couldn't decide whether to knock or use her key.

After deciding that if she knocked Callie could always slam the door in her face, and knowing from experience that that was extremely unpleasant she planned to use her key. She had put a determined look on her face, taken a deep breath and gone so far as to get the keys out of her handbag but no farther. What if Callie had changed her mind?

What if in the two hours between asking her to come home and now, Callie had decided that it was a monumentally bad idea and was going to look at her in disbelief and hatred when she walked in?

"What if...geez what's the point of what if..."

With that Arizona lifted her chin and opened the door and quietly entered the apartment, pulling two suitcases behind her and aware of the late hour. Dropping the suitcases with a bang Arizona stopped dead, quickly putting her hand to her mouth to stop the laughter which threatened to spill forth at the sight before her.

But she wasn't quick enough.

Callie spun around quickly, losing the carefree manner in which she had been dancing around their living room in her underwear immediately and somehow managed to trip over the IPod she was listening to and then while trying to straighten herself she tripped over their couch and landed on her ass.

Arizona doubled over, losing the tension she had felt outside the apartment a few moments before and laughing with abandon. If anyone had asked her what the last thing she had expected to see on her return home it would have been this. Callie dancing sexily around their living room at midnight and then in her perfect, yes Arizona thought, perfect Callie manner tripping over the couch when being caught.

Something which Arizona noted, did not take away from the beauty or pure hotness of the scene one bit, it just reminded her of how adorable Callie could be. She had missed seeing her like this.

"What...What...are...ahem...I was just...Arizona?"

Arizona snapped out of her daydreaming about how this situation would have played out a couple of months ago, if she had walked in on this before Lauren had ever happened and blushed. Perhaps she shouldn't have laughed at Callie.

Callie was sitting in the middle of the room after her fall, her IPod next to her and forgotten, her face bright red and looking up at Arizona like she was a ghost...and beginning to look irritated.

Arizona spoke quickly,

"Hi! Em...are you okay?...do you need a hand? Or something, sorry I didn't realise you would be...doing that...I thought you would be asleep..."

Callie quirked her eyebrows at that, "So what you decided to come over for a midnight visit to what? spy on me in my sleep?" she laughed trying to make light of the situation.

Arizona smiled shyly...she had never felt shy around Callie before, at least not since they were married but now it seemed to be a constant feeling.

"No...I...I...didn't want to wait. I'm...I came home."

Callie looked at her in shock.

"Are you sure? Are you sure you're ready for this, that you want this, that you want us? Because it's not going to be easy Arizona and I need to know that you are all in, that you aren't going to decide you don't want this, us, because you can't do that to me and _we_ can't do that to Sofia. She has already been so confused with everything that is going on and she's only getting used to you not being here."

"You asked me to come home Callie, I thought you wanted this as much as I do, I don't want to hurt you and I will never hurt Sofia. I came home and I don't want to leave again. I don't want to lose you or Sofia and so I'm home." Raising her arms as she spoke and then dropping them helplessly Arizona looked at Callie. She was starting to feel anxious; she hoped Callie wasn't changing her mind.

Callie smiled surprising Arizona, "Okay, then let's bring these cases in and leave the unpacking until the morning, it's late lets go to bed."

Arizona raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth but Callie stopped her before she could say anything,

"But no funny business!" pointing at Arizona and then herself, "Just sleep, it will be a while before any of that, I'm not ready to let you in like that, it's, it's just too soon." Callie said the forced jollity fading out of her voice as it became quiet and sad.

Arizona felt a little disappointed at first but hid it with a smile, laughing to ease the tension and show Callie she understood.

"I'm just glad you're not making me sleep on the couch."

Callie smiled in response and walked into their bedroom, leaving the door open for Arizona.

* * *

_A week later._

Arizona woke up suddenly and for a second wondered if she was still dreaming as she looked down at the tanned arm draped over her body. She had been home for almost a week now and was still getting used to it.

Especially this.

Callie wouldn't allow her to touch her yet, it was too soon and she wasn't ready, which Arizona respected. Honestly she felt lucky that she was able to sleep in their bed with Callie and wasn't exiled to the couch until they worked things out.

Every night though they went to bed and it was almost the same as last year, they had a foot long invisible divide between them, this time enforced by Callie.

Arizona understood this and didn't mind, although she did find it hard as she had, she thought with a slight twinge in her conscious, become used to regular sex once again thanks to her ill-begotten fling with Leah.

Arizona though understood Callie needed time, time to trust her again and time to fix them before becoming intimate again. Although as much as Arizona understood it didn't mean she liked it, it only reminded her of how much she had missed being with Callie, just being near her and the easy intimacy they used to have and reinforced how badly she had screwed up.

This brings her back to her current predicament.

Every morning this week Arizona had woken up in Callie's arms, a situation which had clearly happened in their sleep. And after Callie's reaction on the first morning, namely blaming Arizona for it and being mad at her all day (unfairly in Arizona's opinion, she was to blame for a lot of things but not Callie's actions in her sleep!), Arizona had started a routine of jumping out of bed and unfortunately out of Callie's comfortable embrace first thing. She would then proceed to check on Sofia and go to make breakfast and, more importantly in keeping a happy house with Callie, to make coffee.

Sighing, Arizona proceeded to get up and start her routine; her favourite part was being able to look in on Sofia so easily, to see her whenever she wished. The fact that she had almost lost this...after spending her fill of time watching Sofia, Arizona turned to make a start on coffee and breakfast.

She was glad to be home.

* * *

Callie opened her eyes slowly already feeling that once again she was waking up alone. Frowning she looked around the room.

"Yep...alone again"

Despite her wife coming home a week ago, in some ways Callie still felt as if she was alone. Every morning now she had woken up to an empty but slept in bed and the smell of coffee wafting through the cracked open door.

Callie didn't know what to think. Sometimes she couldn't help but wonder if Arizona even wanted to be home, or if she had come home only because she felt she owed it to Callie and because of Sofia.

Other times she wondered if it was a result of her freak out their first morning back together but let that thought slide as it hadn't been that bad really.

She had woken up to the surprising feeling of her wife in her arms and had at first pulled her closer wondering if she was still asleep. When she had felt her wife move in her arms though and remembered everything she had had a momentary freak out and had been filled with doubt.

Callie had loved the feeling of waking up beside her wife again but the fear that she could be setting herself up for heartbreak again had made her pull away and escape into the bathroom immediately.

She had felt a lot of anger towards Arizona for putting them in this situation and anger at herself for her fear because after all she hadn't exactly been happy and free from heartbreak while they were separated. At least now they were working towards healing and hopefully strengthening their relationship. Although it had taken her an entire day of being pissed off at the world to realise she hadn't minded waking up with Arizona again.

That could have been why Arizona now avoided her in the mornings...but Callie found that hard to believe. It just didn't seem like Arizona to be scared away so easily and after all how could it ever get better, how could they return to cuddling and being together in the mornings if they didn't try.

"That's it, I'm saying something...we need to start communicating", Callie decided, pushing back the bed covers and throwing on a robe as she left the room and went into the kitchen, losing her resolve at the sight that greeted her.

Arizona was dressed for work, smiling at her with two cups of coffee on the table in front of her and two plates of pancakes beside them while Sofia played with blocks in her high-chair, exchanging the occasional words of babble with her mama. Callie felt herself smile back at Arizona.

She was so glad she was home.

**Let me know what you think! I hope to have chapter 3 out by tomorrow!**


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